Weekly Royal Roundup

Happy Friday! Here are some royal things that happened this week.

We caught a peek of the 2020 Cambridge Christmas Card

I can’t be grinchy about this photo. It’s, as my sister would say, “really stinking cute.”

The Cambridges went to a play

Technically it was a Christmas pantomime, which is “dramatic entertainment, originating in Roman mime, in which performers express meaning through gestures accompanied by music.” But I had no idea what a pantomime was until I googled it and I’m assuming some of you didn’t know what it was either, so let’s say they went to a play.

This is not a slam dunk in terms of PR. I know that it was a special, physically distanced performance at the London Palladium and that the other invitees were children of frontline workers in the UK, so it looks good on paper. But to walk a red carpet? During a pandemic in which people are dying? Even with the glamour toned way down, it still doesn’t feel like a super appropriate thing to do when families in the UK have been inside with their kids for months and months/can’t bring their kids to the theatre/are financially struggling. Seems a little tone deaf to me. If you’re going to put Kate on a red carpet during a pandemic, at least pretend to make Kate look a little frumpier than normal! Put her in a flat bootie (with a different dress) or a ballet flat (with that dress)! Put her hair in a ponytail with no curl at the back and no fancy elastics! Put her hair in a Goody brand elastic like the rest of us! Give us some tired mom vibes, we beg of you!!

I bet Will and Kate are going to get negative feedback over this as they were putting themselves and their kids in a closed space with other people – a pretty big no-no during COVID in the UK, even in non-lockdown periods. But the pictures were cute and people like to see pictures of the lil Cambridges, so it might go down fine for the most part. It will likely go over just like the royal train trip – that is to say, 90% of people will like it and 10% of people will ask “Was this really necessary?” And both responses will be fair.

Camilla’s rescue dog unveiled a plaque :’)

First off, I need to say that this is one of the most emotionally manipulative things I’ve ever seen Clarence House do, and it’s CLARENCE HOUSE, so that’s a pretty high bar. But some genius firing on all cylinders in their press office was trying to imagine what would be a sure-fire boost to Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall’s public image and thought: Let’s have HER ADORABLE RESCUE DOG UNVEIL A PLAQUE AT THE RESCUE MISSION CAMILLA ADOPTED HER FROM. This is Beth, one of Camilla and Charles’s dogs. She was adopted by Camilla from Battersea Cats & Dogs animal rescue (an organization of which Camilla is patron).

Some poor Clarence House staff member literally tied a sausage to the velvet rope so that Beth the dog would know to grab the velvet and reveal the plaque. Give that person a Nobel Prize. Maybe the best public relations I’ve seen in all of 2020 from anyone.

Diana who? The Crown what? The 1980s whence? They are forgotten. The only people/puppers we know are Camilla and Beth.

Cut to me watching this perfect angel of a dog unveil a plaque while also having very complicated feelings about Camilla as a person and also acknowledging that the press office staff who thought of this are absolutely brilliant:

A lot of emotions for a routine royal stop to an animal rescue charity.

I made merch!

I have an online store! You can buy a mug or a hoodie if you’d like to. The link to the store is here and pictures of the mug and hoodie are just below.

Stay safe, wear a mask, donate to a food bank, listen to Dua Lipa’s album Future Nostalgia and dance around your house/apartment to it. See you soon.

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