Welcome to the petty Olympics!!!
This morning, the British Royal Family social media accounts announced the news that Princess Beatrice of York is expecting a baby with her husband, Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi.
Here is the quick briefing note on their relationship:
- Princess Beatrice is the daughter of two of the Worst British Royals, Sarah Ferguson and Prince Andrew. But we can’t judge her based on who her parents are, as she didn’t choose them.
- Edoardo (Edo) Mapelli Mozzi is a British/Italian entrepreneur. He is also a member of an Italian noble family and is a Count. As in, Count Edoardo.
- Edo has a child with another woman from a previous relationship. The mother of Edo’s first child, an American architect, has an amicable relationship with her ex and Beatrice. Beatrice is Edo’s first child’s stepmother.
- Beatrice and Edo married last July in a socially distanced wedding at the Royal Chapel of All Saints on the grounds of Royal Lodge, Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson’s estate. Because Andrew and Sarah are toxic in terms of PR, there were no photos released that included Beatrice’s parents at the wedding.
- However, as a sign of solidarity to both Beatrice and Andrew and Sarah (Andrew is far and away the Queen’s favourite child), the wedding was attended by Her Majesty and the late Prince Philip. Additionally, Beatrice’s wedding gown was actually a gown that the Queen has owned since the 1960s (she wore it to a movie premiere in 1962). The dress was loaned to Beatrice by the Queen (with alterations made to add cap sleeves).
But this is where things get fun. Let’s go back to October 2018. Princess Beatrice’s sister, Princess Eugenie, is marrying Jack Brooksbank at Windsor Castle. It’s very nice, but there is a tension in the air because ALLEGEDLY Eugenie is wearing a tiara, loaned to her from the Queen, that Meghan desperately wanted to wear at HER wedding at Windsor Castle some five months before. She was told that because of the possible negative provenance of the gems in the tiara and its connection to Russia, that she couldn’t (allegedly). Or maybe it’s that Princess Eugenie had already called dibs. This tiara tension is what led to Harry infamously saying “What Meghan wants, Meghan gets.” Incredible. Someone please embroider that on a cushion for me.
SO! Knowing that there had been this minor issue with the tiara, Meghan and Harry attended Eugenie and Jack’s wedding. They looked nice.
But THEN, at the wedding reception, Harry and Meghan decided to tell the entire family that they were expecting their first child. It’s like proposing at someone else’s wedding. It’s poor form! You can’t do that! And you especially can’t do that at a British royal wedding. ALLEGEDLY, the Yorks (Andrew, Sarah, Eugenie, Beatrice) were pissed. Harry and Meghan had totally upstaged Eugenie’s wedding day by sharing this news, possibly because of a feud over a tiara.
So what makes this announcement of Beatrice’s pregnancy extra fun is that she chose to release it on Harry and Meghan’s third wedding anniversary. L.O.L. The level of shade here is exquisite. And if Harry and Meghan wanted to complain about it (though I doubt they’re speaking to anyone at Buckingham Palace anyway), the perfect answer from Beatrice would be to say, “But we thought that your May 19 wedding was just for the public and that you were married privately on May 16.”
This story is the perfect mid-week mood booster. I hope you got as much enjoyment out of it as I did/am.
Thanks for reading. And thank you specifically to Yankee Doodle on Twitter for your generous support!